Pre-/Post-Divorce Counseling

The Most Difficult Seasons and Decisions

Stop.

Take a moment, and breathe.

If you have intentionally found yourself here, on this page, then I want to remind you to just… breathe.

Deciding to end your marriage is probably one of the most difficult decisions, probably after one of the most challenging seasons of your life.

The Questions and Struggles of Living Divorced

Tom and Tracey found themselves there… in the middle of living divorced.

Sixteen years, down the drain. Hopes and dreams—just gone.

Two years after his marriage ended, Tom finds himself confused.

The enormity of this change has left him with no clear direction.

He questions: Who is he? Who does he want to be? What does he want to do?

The Blame Game

Tom struggles with God. How could He have let this happen?

He curses.

Tom has never been much of a crier, but now finds himself crying often as he judges his actions, or lack thereof.

How could he have let this happen?

He struggles with intense thoughts and feelings.

…that he had not done enough… not tried hard enough… or for long enough.

The Painful Path to a New Normal with the Children

Dividing up and sharing time with his children has been one of the most heart-wrenching and devastating adjustments of all for Tom.

After many weekend visits, Tom confesses that he literally wonders if he can really take his kids back and drop them off with their mother, and step-father… again.

His ex-wife appears to be really happy.

And he truly is happy for her. And sad. And pissed.

The Mixed Emotions of “Moving On”

Tracey feels grateful to have moved on from what she says was an emotionless marriage.

She admits there are days when she wonders if she and Tom gave it their all.

However, she will say that she spent years begging for exactly what she wanted, to no avail.

Her new husband, Daniel has been a true blessing. She believes he woke up her spirit, her senses, and revealed to her what she had been missing for oh so long.

Tracey confesses she still feels sad for Tom, and she dislikes seeing him depressed and stuck.

She wishes they could remain friends for their children and co-parent in a healthy way.

But Tracey finds it difficult to do so when Tom refuses to accept what has happened and move on.

The Work of Finding Purpose Again

One day a year ago, Tom found himself in my office.

Together, we trudged through the mucky waters.

We unpacked his story: identifying deep wounds, core beliefs, and false thinking.

We grieved the loss of his marriage and family.

We reworked his purpose.

Tom did his work.

And, eventually, he was reintroduced to himself!